Just A Phase
by bays1
Summary: Just as Leah Clearwater feels like she's gaining control of her life she changes in a very unexpected way. "Another presence filled the space of my mind and another. More visitors were making an appearance in loco Leah land. But who? It was feeling more and more like a game show. 'Who's in the Hallucination Now? : Leah Edition.' "


Disclaimer: All recognisable characters and settings belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**It's Just a Phase by bays1**

Chapter One – No Escape Here 

The weird tourist wearing velvet was definitely leering at me. It had been a while since anyone had done that. The constantly frazzled hair and blotchy eyes were usually a big 'no go' sign that hung over my head. That had all changed now. I was finally ready to let Sam go. It was time to move on with my life. Maybe find work out of La Push. I could even go backpacking in Europe or Australia or Asia or just anywhere that wasn't here. For the first time in a very long time, I finally felt like I had control. I was going places; I was no longer tightly bound to La Push and its inhabitants. And the perve guy appreciated my new-found confidence.

"Looking good Sweet cheeks." He whistled over the display of corn chips. I pretend to be too engrossed in browsing the La Push Gas Station's pitiful variety of milk but a small smile snuck onto my face. I was looking good. I felt like I was looking good. In fact he had it wrong, I was beyond good. I was amazing.

Without looking I reached into the cooler and pulled out a random bottle. I felt velvet dude give me one last sweeping glance as I sashayed up to the counter. (I do admit I may have added an extra swing to my hips for his enjoyment). One of Sam's new buddies, Jared, was manning the gas fort but like I said, I didn't care about who was Sam's what anymore. I had no reason now to avoid the people and places that used to plague the other me.

Jared was concentrating on the clock and I had to cough quietly to get his attention. I could tell he knew who I was. He wouldn't even meet my eyes, just like Sam - jerk. He hurriedly dragged my milk along the scanner. But when I pressed the change I had scrounged up into his hand, Jared eyes shot up to mine. His previously cautious expression was now intensely confused.

"You…you're..." He stuttered like a game show contestant that had used all his lifelines. Idiot.

"Yes, Hi. It's Leah." I scoffed. "We have met before. Several times actually."

"You're hot."

"Excuse me?"

"No, I mean temperature wise. Your skin is hot. You should see a doctor. No! Don't see a doctor." He picked up the store phone from under a mound of chocolate bars, muttering to himself. "It doesn't make sense. She couldn't, could she?"

I rolled my eyes. Men were insane. Taking my milk I had to pass through a curtain of smoke that some stoners had insisted on making outside the only decent store in La Push. As I left, Jared called out to me to stop but I ignored him; I could hold my own against doped people. That annoyed me though. They all thought they could just boss me around. Stop, Leah, Go, Leah, Roll over, Leah, Play dead so I can marry your cousin. I wasn't their pup. I wasn't their girlfriend. I wasn't their fiancée. They had good little Emily for that. _He had Emily now. _My car grunted to life. It wasn't fair. Everything was perfect and then she screwed it up.

An itch began to build its way up my arms but I was gripping the steering wheel too tightly to scratch. Then it was everywhere and I was drowning in the heavy pounding of my head. The white line of the road casually blurred until all I could see, taste, feel, smell or hear was the uncontrollable heat of my skin. Using my better sense for once, I stopped the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

I leant forward, clutching my side, trying to regain stability but the impact of the steering wheel only added to the gnawing that was growing in every inch of my body. I wanted to leave my skin, my body. It was too much; I couldn't stand it turning against me too.

I saw red and my world exploded. I was vaguely aware I wasn't in the car anymore. It was raining in shattered pieces around me. The gravel of the road ground into my back. I felt like my stomach was clamping around a razor blade. Each second that passed it twisted tighter forcing it to slice deeper and hurt like hell, even worse than before. I whimpered.

Even though I was doomed, there was only so much torture I could take in my last moments. I skirted down my abdomen trying to remove the source but my paw was too clumsy and misbalanced. Wait. Paw? Holy Cheeseburger with ketchup. I was having the hallucination planted by the devil himself. The stoners must have been smoking something _far _stronger than I originally thought. I was beyond delirious. A commanding howl filled the air around me.

_'You're not hallucinating. That's what I thought_…' I cut off imaginary Sam there. Whoa, when did he get here? I was seriously tripping. There was a wolfy chuckle that sounded so unlike Sam. Emily probably replaced that too when she was ripping his heart away from me. Sam cringed. This was just fantastic. I was having a hallucination and _he _just had to make an appearance in it, bringing morbid thoughts with him. At least it was my hallucination and I could say exactly what I had wanted to when he had tried to explain why he was sucking face with Emily; when he decided _he_ was breaking up with _me; _and during those phone calls where he would just apologize over and over and over.

_'Shut Up! You Moronic Pig-faced Cheating Jerk! And Go Make Someone Else Feel Like SHIT!'_ I forced the words toward Sam with all the might I muster. Surprisingly, I don't think I spoke at all but I still felt them hit imaginary Sam. There was literally a moment where the crickets were chirping and then I couldn't focus on noise anymore; the slicing of my insides became unbearable.

"Let me help you." He was still around but not in my head. These words were out loud. I tried to tell him exactly where he could shove his help but it was too much effort. All I could manage was a choking grunt. I knew I was high but it all felt so real, especially the excruciating yank of something being tugged from my flesh. A thousand tiny spikes tore their way out of my stomach. Piranhas were eating me. I was being stabbed by Mom's fruit skewers. With more sucking rips, points in my arm and both my legs began burning as well.

The air rippled beside me and a large paw rested on my fur. Welcome back crazy animal analogies. I tried to shrug it off but it held firm. Bloody Sam. Maybe if I act dead he will get help and I will be able to deal with someone that doesn't carry around a big bag of shit that happened between us.

I felt amusement roll off Jared. It was in my head. '_We can't control what imprinting does. You'll understand too.' _

Ah, Jared how pleasant to see you join the festivities. Of all the random people. Another presence filled the space of my mind and another. More visitors were making an appearance in loco Leah land. But who? It was feeling more and more like a game show. 'Who's in the Hallucination Now? : Leah Edition.'

_'I'd play that game.' _One of the newcomers added _'I guess it's Embry!'_

_'And Jacob.' _He sounded less enthused than Embry. I briefly wondered about what was causing the rain in his cloud. Perhaps he was in love with Sam too. They ignored my attempt at wit.

_'We win!'_

_'A Corvette Stingray?'_

_'Of course.'_

It took a while for me to realize my thoughts were more organized in a weird way and less 'holy shit that hurts'. The searing pain in my stomach was now just a distant throb; the rest of my body tingled. Is this what death felt like or just being really high?

_'Lee-Lee, are you okay? Are you sure it doesn't hurt anywhere?'_ Sam was sounded flustered now like a mother fluffing over her brat. He was annoyed at Jacob and Embry for 'trivializing' my 'situation'. I pulled back my lips and snarled up at him with as much ferocity as possible_. _

_'We can't call an ex by her old nickname!' _Jared apparently was up on relationship advice from reading his girlfriend's magazine. Someone had too much free time on their hands. _'Nah, Sam works us like horses.'_

I stopped snarling. I took notice of Sam. He had paws and fur too but his eyes, the deep eyes I stared into for so many hours, watched down on me sympathetically. He _was_ sorry, so, so sorry for _everything._

_'Poor Leah.'_

_'Poor Sam.'_

The random disjointed thoughts didn't seem like mine but they reminded me of why I needed Sam gone. Then, I admit, I let my head loll back a little dramatically. Cue Leah death scene as a giant dog.

As he tried to nudge me up, I growled at him again._ 'Just piss off Sam. Let me die in peace.'_

_'She can't be in the pack she's a girl.' _Embry whined. He had realized the significance of my presence, whatever it was. Although considering it was my hallucination wouldn't I be expected to be here? A single twitch from Sam silenced him.

'_Leah is in the pack?' _Iwasn't sure what part of me asked the insane question, Paul-like animal perhaps? - But I answered anyway with:_ 'No Leah is dead.'_

_'Leah you're not dying.'_ I vaguely acknowledged someone agreeing with Sam though I didn't hear them.

_'Yes I am, now go away!'_

_'Not a chance.' _

_'We're stuck with you.'_

_'Does this mean we have to wear clothes now?'_

_'Quiet._' Sam spoke the single word in no more than a hoarse whisper but it carried such weight and authority that I felt its order bearing down on me as well. I couldn't speak; I didn't even want to try. _'Let her understand. Let her into your minds.'_

Apparently I didn't get a say. That was nothing out of the ordinary. Without my seal of approval, I was hit by a barrage of memories harder than road kill is hit by a speeding freight truck. They slammed into every crevice of my skull only to rebound on the opposite side. I was learning a whole lifetime of thoughts, feelings and special moments all within microseconds and it was painful. I was with Embry when he got lost in Walmart; at the same time Jacob was catching his first fish, Paul was getting a bmx for his eighth birthday and loving it, Jared's mum crashed a car, Jacob met Bella, Paul got suspended for fighting, Embry liked that girl, Jacob's motorbike, Jared…

Sam loved Leah. NO! I tried to rip away as Sam's memories joined the fray but I couldn't. It was just another thing I had no control over. I saw myself through his eyes. That first touch and first kisses. He gave me too much credit. I looked so much prettier in his eyes. Who would have thought he liked my morning hair? The first fight and the final fight. There I was, so naive and determined to keep loving him when all he wanted was her. Emily. More firsts came but this time I wasn't the focal point. The way he was pulled to her was so intense that whatever emotion he felt for me felt a parody of it. With each new image, whatever blacken piece of my heart that was left was tugged out and grinded in fragment of wispy ash.

My hallucinations sucked.

Just because I was falling to pieces all over again didn't mean the memories stopped. More and more and more and more. It was just as bad as the pain that had plagued my stomach. Not only were these boys' entireties spread before me but I felt them take a selection of me. They were all curious and rummaged through my head like it was a garage sale of my life.

It was becoming too real.

As I awkwardly stumbled back to my feet, underneath the weight of all these new memories, everything began feeling too natural. Walking with four legs instead of two shouldn't be easy. I skipped the whole crawling stage when I was a toddler; I had always preferred standing on my own two feet like the adults. Except when we used to play ponies when I was younger – even then I looked like an idiot – I had never considered my arms as a way of walking. Was I actually using four legs now? Were people watching the crazy high chick acting like a weirdo?

"_Enough._ _You Are Not High. Realise That Now Leah_." Sam commanded. It wasn't a statement; it was a _command_. The confused fog that had draped my mind since the pain started was blown away by the explosion of truth. I wasn't high. Sam wasn't imaginary. I was a mutant freak wolf thing. I was a freak. I was a freak. I was a freak. We were all freaks of nature, destined to have our lives ripped apart by the presence of vampires. They were our enemies and we had to protect La Push from their ways. We were the protectors. It was our tribal honor. The stories were legends but not myths. Everything taught to us by the elders was true.

Walking on four paws may have been natural, but staying upright was still too much to handle. The memories were still coming thick and fast and it was hard trying to concentrate on them let alone the new thoughts that were arriving with every pounding second the rest of the pack drew closer. I stumbled to the edge of the road before giving in. Stray gravel sliced into my shoulder. Sam paced around the road, making sure no one would drive upon the scene and began to painstakingly drag some of the larger pieces of my car into the tree line I was laying just out of.

We were coming to help me understand and to help me change back. It would be hard but we had to try. No one could see us as a wolf. We didn't understand why I had phased but it had happened and Leah was our sister now. She was us.

_'I am not!' _I growled at the approaching boys. They stumbled in their thoughts for a moment, considering my venomous tone and whether I had actually calmed down from the phase. One smartarse took it a step further.

_'Maybe its PMS.'_ It was a brief thought but it was enough to set me over the edge. Always with the stupid, blinded male assumptions. I'll give you PMS. I shoved the onslaught of memories away and focused only on the anger that was bubbling to the surface. They were going to be doused in it. Jared was the first to arrive but had the intelligence to avoid the circumference of my rage.

_'Wasn't me.'_ He shrugged before heading straight to help Sam, who was trying to diplomatically ignore the situation and focused on preventing discovery of my mishap. I painstakingly urged my legs up again and imagined myself pulling wolfy limb from wolfy limb as the rest drew closer. Jacob was amused by my vivid imaginings, the rest were concerned for my psychological wellbeing.

_'How would your psychological wellbeing be doing if you just turned into a freaking wolf and learnt things about boys you never wanted to know?'_

_'How would yours being doing if you just found out what pashing Sam was like?_' Jacob snapped back.

_'Jump off a cliff.'_

_'Ladies first.'_

I knew he had me there but there was no way I would openly admit that. Paul chuckled at my defeat. That didn't help things. _'Just because you can get into my head Paul, doesn't mean you should.'_

_'Dangerous, dangerous place._' Agreed Embry. '_I mean what kind of person would have the hots for a fictional character?'_

_'Stay out of it, small fry.'_ I snarled at him. Now that I knew the insecurities of every pack member it was all too easy to use it against them. No-one would look too closely at me when they were bundled up in themselves.

'_Looks like Paul's temper has a contender.' _Someone said in awe. _'Being insulted by you is one thing but seeing how you mind comes up with them is so weird. Do you always think like that?'_

_'My temper's not that bad but PMS and a bitch, there's bad mix.' _It was the infamous Paul. He was the smartarse but come to think of it they were all just a bunch of childish losers.

I didn't know who to tackle first so I just sprinted in the general direction of the others planning to bite whatever I saw. No-one should be allowed in my head. They were my thoughts. Mine! Forest rushed past me and I brushed off Sam's requests for me to come back. There was going to be hell to pay.

Then I ran into a tree.

Four hours later I staggered through the door of home and collapsed onto the couch, fighting the tears that shock had held back before. My head hurt. My stomach hurt. My skin hurt. My eyes hurt. My car had been destroyed, I had to stay in La Push, Sam could read my thoughts and I was part of a bit mutant wolf family. At least those boys had no hope in out running me. I was too fast at running.

"Tough day?" Mom called from her room.

It was hard speaking aloud again but I forced the words out. "You have no idea."

She sighed and I heard her speaking softly into the phone. Being a wolf must have its sensory advantages. "Yes Harry, it was Leah. She is still acting down. No, no, stay with Charlie. Ah huh. It's just a phase. She'll get over it soon enough."

Just a phase indeed.

_A/N: Hi all. I'm just posting this up to see if there is any interest. I have a few chapters already written. So, review and let me know if you are interested in seeing this story continue. Thanks!_

_A/N 2: I've made a couple of edits to the original_


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